Wednesday, 13 October 2010
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Ramblings on Character Development
I follow a number of writing blogs and one that I read today touched upon something which is consuming a lot of my thoughts at the moment in regards to the main character of my novel. The idea of depth, of a journey and making a character that touches the reader. I'm often overly critical of my own main characters, and with this character - I know I am extremely critical of 'her' - or more precisely, my writing of her.
Because this is a first person novel, the story is laced with personal insights from the character. I often feel I get too pulled into her inner monologue at times and that sometimes it is repetitive. The current point I am writing is a crucial point of the character development, it helps define who she is - or more, who she wants to be and sets up the rest of - not just this first story - but the planned trilogy.
This character has certain self beliefs - she is a good person, she is/has been selfless, she would do anything to help others - she's not perfect, she's made her mistakes, she's suffered for them, but all in all, she has a strong self belief in the type of person she is. The early part of storyline shows her that this isn't necessarily true, she has the ability to be extremely selfish, she isn't brave - and shows her cowardice more than once, and her cowardice lets her down. With the back story of the character, it has always been her cowardice that has let her down, and she has a moment of epiphany. A desire - a need - to change, but then is immediately faced with the prospect that she might never get the chance to make that change.
This change - and need to prove to herself who she is, to give her own life - and possible death - meaning is really the undercurrent of the storyline, her behaviour is guided by forcing herself not to become a person she hates, to face her fears and know that if she dies - she leaves true picture of who she was, and not the coward she never wanted to be. Of course, nothing is simple, she is too trusting, too eager, and does get 'burned' and sometimes being the coward or the 'bad' person is the only way to survive, she doesn't have a choice in who she gets to be.
I think the scene I'm writing at the moment is so hard because it has became so important. I'm pleased to announce I'm past the first hurdle and have the majority of the entire scene in note format, I'm just hoping that the feeling is there for the reader. That the character isn't repetitive, or dull - but shows that she's struggling with her predicament and in many ways, her own identity.
I'm eager to hear what my test reader(s) have to say about this scene and how it is building up, and with luck - that elusive 30k word count will be within reach soon. Who knew writing a novel could be such a hard process? ;-) ~ Kitty
Because this is a first person novel, the story is laced with personal insights from the character. I often feel I get too pulled into her inner monologue at times and that sometimes it is repetitive. The current point I am writing is a crucial point of the character development, it helps define who she is - or more, who she wants to be and sets up the rest of - not just this first story - but the planned trilogy.
This character has certain self beliefs - she is a good person, she is/has been selfless, she would do anything to help others - she's not perfect, she's made her mistakes, she's suffered for them, but all in all, she has a strong self belief in the type of person she is. The early part of storyline shows her that this isn't necessarily true, she has the ability to be extremely selfish, she isn't brave - and shows her cowardice more than once, and her cowardice lets her down. With the back story of the character, it has always been her cowardice that has let her down, and she has a moment of epiphany. A desire - a need - to change, but then is immediately faced with the prospect that she might never get the chance to make that change.
This change - and need to prove to herself who she is, to give her own life - and possible death - meaning is really the undercurrent of the storyline, her behaviour is guided by forcing herself not to become a person she hates, to face her fears and know that if she dies - she leaves true picture of who she was, and not the coward she never wanted to be. Of course, nothing is simple, she is too trusting, too eager, and does get 'burned' and sometimes being the coward or the 'bad' person is the only way to survive, she doesn't have a choice in who she gets to be.
I think the scene I'm writing at the moment is so hard because it has became so important. I'm pleased to announce I'm past the first hurdle and have the majority of the entire scene in note format, I'm just hoping that the feeling is there for the reader. That the character isn't repetitive, or dull - but shows that she's struggling with her predicament and in many ways, her own identity.
I'm eager to hear what my test reader(s) have to say about this scene and how it is building up, and with luck - that elusive 30k word count will be within reach soon. Who knew writing a novel could be such a hard process? ;-) ~ Kitty
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Writing in the midnight hours
Tonight I went to bed early. I turned off my laptop and promised myself I'd have an early night, as I have an early dental appointment. As it is 3am, and I'm online, it's quite clear that this planned failed.
I don't know what it is about the early hours, but I seem to have not only some of my best ideas but my best motivation to write. I've spent the last few days talking about writing, but never actually managing to start this scene. I've now started it. Parts of this scene scare me as a writer, as I'm not entirely confident about some of the mechanics, but the more time it took to start the scene, the less confident I got. I'm happy to report that now that it is started, I am once again confident.
This scene has been my hardest obstacle so far, yet in many ways it's one of the most enlightening parts I've done. I've learned more about the main character, I'm tying up loose ends on parts already past and I'm introducing a new character, who now has a name, 'Darcy' who is a character I like. While I haven't posted any of my actual manuscript on this blog to date, I'd like to introduce Darcy, as she's introduced in the story. If only because she's a character that came from nowhere and already has me liking her:
I hope that this coming week will send me over the next 'hump', that wonderful 30,000 word point - a count I've never reached before, and a milestone for my personal writing career. ~ Kitty
I don't know what it is about the early hours, but I seem to have not only some of my best ideas but my best motivation to write. I've spent the last few days talking about writing, but never actually managing to start this scene. I've now started it. Parts of this scene scare me as a writer, as I'm not entirely confident about some of the mechanics, but the more time it took to start the scene, the less confident I got. I'm happy to report that now that it is started, I am once again confident.
This scene has been my hardest obstacle so far, yet in many ways it's one of the most enlightening parts I've done. I've learned more about the main character, I'm tying up loose ends on parts already past and I'm introducing a new character, who now has a name, 'Darcy' who is a character I like. While I haven't posted any of my actual manuscript on this blog to date, I'd like to introduce Darcy, as she's introduced in the story. If only because she's a character that came from nowhere and already has me liking her:
"She was looking at me with a hateful glint in her eyes, her hair was slicked back with blood and sweat, and bruising was beginning to blossom on her face. Her left eye was swollen, and a long stream of dried blood had left a trail down her cheek, joining another line of blood which came from her nose. I dropped my gaze, following a long deep slash that started at her throat and came across her chest, leaving her top hanging raggedly open while underneath the wound was held together with congealing blood."
I hope that this coming week will send me over the next 'hump', that wonderful 30,000 word point - a count I've never reached before, and a milestone for my personal writing career. ~ Kitty
Word Count: 26200
Word count as of 1st Oct, 03:08 - 26200, after an hour's writing to the new scene :-)
~ Kitty
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Wanderlust in writing
I'm sure that wanderlust is a problem that strikes many writers, no matter how well you are writing one thing, no matter how much fun it is, how much you want to finish it - there are always things that creep their way into your head. Ideas for other stories, ideas for stories once started and abandoned and the desire is there to abandon the current project and rush to work on the new or old piece.
This very problem is something that for years has successfully managed to thwart attempts to finish anything longer than a short story. I have tried hard to avoid it, but lacked the discipline to say no to myself and my urges. I'm now over 6 months into this project, it's the most professional and most disciplined piece of writing I have ever done and for the past months I've managed to avoid other stories, but now I can feel I'm wearing myself down. Rationalising that maybe a break would be good, just something fun to write, something different. Forgetting of course that the very reason I'm writing what I am today is that I wanted something fun and different from a piece I was writing last year. I am having a lot of fun with what I am writing now, but there's a need for change and I guess the boost of doing something new, where the creative drive is fresh and the words churn out, rather than the slow pecking away that can happen on a slow day.
Making the problem bigger is that I have many, many unfinished projects, dating back 10-15 years. I have characters who I still muse about. I have even, to my shame, started new notebooks, under headings of other stories to make notes, though I have tried to limit myself doing this. It may seem absolutely insane to limit my own trespass into my own work, but I daren't get too involved, because some of these ideas I adore and in the future I plan to work on, but preferably as a published author, not when struggling through the first write of what I hope to be a debut novel.
For those of interest, my wanderlust seeks to take me to two different urban fantasy worlds, one set with vampires, the other set with druids, to a cold cottage where a chick-lit novel is brewing, to a far away moon where a woman is throwing spanners at a spaceship that doesn't work, to a world so small we don't see, where fairies rule, to a medieval fantasy where a young girl seeks her birthright then back to the world I was creating last year, where misery is currency and the only way for long term survival is to fight the system, problem is, the only way for short term survival is to keep with the system.
I hope one day that I'll be talking about writing these stories on this blog, able to explore the worlds as a paid author, weaving worlds as a job and a passion, with readers willing to take the ride with me. ~ Kitty
This very problem is something that for years has successfully managed to thwart attempts to finish anything longer than a short story. I have tried hard to avoid it, but lacked the discipline to say no to myself and my urges. I'm now over 6 months into this project, it's the most professional and most disciplined piece of writing I have ever done and for the past months I've managed to avoid other stories, but now I can feel I'm wearing myself down. Rationalising that maybe a break would be good, just something fun to write, something different. Forgetting of course that the very reason I'm writing what I am today is that I wanted something fun and different from a piece I was writing last year. I am having a lot of fun with what I am writing now, but there's a need for change and I guess the boost of doing something new, where the creative drive is fresh and the words churn out, rather than the slow pecking away that can happen on a slow day.
Making the problem bigger is that I have many, many unfinished projects, dating back 10-15 years. I have characters who I still muse about. I have even, to my shame, started new notebooks, under headings of other stories to make notes, though I have tried to limit myself doing this. It may seem absolutely insane to limit my own trespass into my own work, but I daren't get too involved, because some of these ideas I adore and in the future I plan to work on, but preferably as a published author, not when struggling through the first write of what I hope to be a debut novel.
For those of interest, my wanderlust seeks to take me to two different urban fantasy worlds, one set with vampires, the other set with druids, to a cold cottage where a chick-lit novel is brewing, to a far away moon where a woman is throwing spanners at a spaceship that doesn't work, to a world so small we don't see, where fairies rule, to a medieval fantasy where a young girl seeks her birthright then back to the world I was creating last year, where misery is currency and the only way for long term survival is to fight the system, problem is, the only way for short term survival is to keep with the system.
I hope one day that I'll be talking about writing these stories on this blog, able to explore the worlds as a paid author, weaving worlds as a job and a passion, with readers willing to take the ride with me. ~ Kitty
Time not wasted
It's rare that I can claim I haven't wasted time, especially since I have spent a month with a short section of my story in limbo. As my previous post details, this bothered me - it's all very well wanting to be the whole 'professional writer' - but if the story stubbornly refuses to be written, it can leave you feeling, well, useless.
I was never convinced until last night that I had made the right choice in not skipping ahead in the narrative. I had made many excuses why I didn't want to do it, and to the creative person inside me - they were sensible reasons, to the person inside me pointing to the £ symbol on the keyboard, they didn't make sense, I was just wasting time.
Now - with a wonderfully tied together scene that excites me, a new character who crawled her way out of the woodwork into the story and a series of (in my mind) quite epic links to the rest of the narrative - I am beyond overjoyed with having waited. And in the end, it was the right choice for this story - and hopefully will produce a better piece of work than I would have done had I skipped it. It may have taken a month but some quite important issues were resolved in my head, and as my last post said - my character felt empowered, I've now joined her.
Part of my main worry has been the depicting of the main character in this story, as it is written in the first person - and everything is seen from her perspective, the early parts make her seem, well, a tad useless and a lot selfish - which was never intended, yet has worked well for the story. This new scene, which never existed before this week has cemented the change in the character, it brings her to a fork in the road - where she can act one of two ways, the way she has been (which hasn't been brilliant) or change, and become who she wants to be.
This scene is currently still in hand written note form, as I've only just brought the main narrative up to the point that this scene occurs. It's messily laid out, the new character hasn't had her name chosen yet - but it's a solid scene. It forces the main character into action, doing things rather than managing to coast on by (as she's managed so far) - and this interaction and action brings out a lot of what I've so far been unable to show, it also sets the stage for the change in her - a change which before I found difficult to transition in. I always knew I had a problem there, there was no turning point for her change, now there is.
I'm looking forward to writing this scene, I have a few finishing touches to put to my note form, mainly fine details on the mechanics of what is going on - but the important parts are written. The dialogue between the main character and this new character, the tension - which starts out high, and ends up in an uneasy truce. Mainly, this wild card, this new female character who has opened up a lot of possibilities about later scenes. I can only feel that the story as a whole will be richer with this inclusion, which makes me happy, for awhile there - the light at the end of the tunnel was gone into the black hole of bookthatwillnevergetfinished, but it's now there again, so here's to time not wasted and sometimes the need for reflection bringing out surprises. ~ Kitty
I was never convinced until last night that I had made the right choice in not skipping ahead in the narrative. I had made many excuses why I didn't want to do it, and to the creative person inside me - they were sensible reasons, to the person inside me pointing to the £ symbol on the keyboard, they didn't make sense, I was just wasting time.
Now - with a wonderfully tied together scene that excites me, a new character who crawled her way out of the woodwork into the story and a series of (in my mind) quite epic links to the rest of the narrative - I am beyond overjoyed with having waited. And in the end, it was the right choice for this story - and hopefully will produce a better piece of work than I would have done had I skipped it. It may have taken a month but some quite important issues were resolved in my head, and as my last post said - my character felt empowered, I've now joined her.
Part of my main worry has been the depicting of the main character in this story, as it is written in the first person - and everything is seen from her perspective, the early parts make her seem, well, a tad useless and a lot selfish - which was never intended, yet has worked well for the story. This new scene, which never existed before this week has cemented the change in the character, it brings her to a fork in the road - where she can act one of two ways, the way she has been (which hasn't been brilliant) or change, and become who she wants to be.
This scene is currently still in hand written note form, as I've only just brought the main narrative up to the point that this scene occurs. It's messily laid out, the new character hasn't had her name chosen yet - but it's a solid scene. It forces the main character into action, doing things rather than managing to coast on by (as she's managed so far) - and this interaction and action brings out a lot of what I've so far been unable to show, it also sets the stage for the change in her - a change which before I found difficult to transition in. I always knew I had a problem there, there was no turning point for her change, now there is.
I'm looking forward to writing this scene, I have a few finishing touches to put to my note form, mainly fine details on the mechanics of what is going on - but the important parts are written. The dialogue between the main character and this new character, the tension - which starts out high, and ends up in an uneasy truce. Mainly, this wild card, this new female character who has opened up a lot of possibilities about later scenes. I can only feel that the story as a whole will be richer with this inclusion, which makes me happy, for awhile there - the light at the end of the tunnel was gone into the black hole of bookthatwillnevergetfinished, but it's now there again, so here's to time not wasted and sometimes the need for reflection bringing out surprises. ~ Kitty
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Writing yourself into a corner a.k.a Writer's Block
In all my years of having fun writing, I learned one thing very early on - Writer's Block is a killer. Over the years it has destroyed various pieces that I've had a lot of enthusiasm for by simply draining the will to write from me. In setting out to write a novel, I tried to prepare in advance for this. I knew it would happen, I didn't know when or where, but I knew it would rear it's ugly head.
And of course - it did, recently, as you may have gathered from the lack of updates to this blog. My preparation has left me with notebooks filled with detailed notes, however having not made a timeline (something I intend to do in future!) - I had missed a 4 hour dead space in the novel, since this is a story that the main part takes place over a short length of time, that's a fairly big problem - and I didn't know what happened there. Ironically, I know exactly what happens aftewards and for the next 10-12 hours, but not this bit.
I've spent the past month mulling it over, debating between missing it out and leaving it to do later, to trying to force it out now. I feel I am doing myself a disservice to leave it until later, I think it will plague me, mocking me as the bit I couldn't write. So, I am determined to write it rather than leave it. I have tried for a few weeks now to write it, it didn't feel right - I didn't feel right. Then I'd feel worse for not having done any writing. Writing can be quite a lonely and depressing business, especially when you want to strangle your own story, which I assume is transference to wanting to strangle yourself.
But - tonight I made progress. It is only 2000 words, and it hasn't even reached the part I can't write. But the character is feeling empowered, and good for her, because damn it, one of us has to know where this going, and maybe I can follow her lead. It's a hard feeling to describe, a week ago, I couldn't write this bit, now - I still don't really know what happens, but I have an idea, and I have the confidence to have a bash at it.
I suppose that it's the first of many stumbling blocks I am likely to face. I have put a lot of preparation into this, and I think by doing that I felt I would avoid this and have an easy write. Which isn't the case, I just have a bit more confidence in myself to get past the stumbling blocks. A few years ago, this sort of stumbling block would have signalled the end of the story, left in a file to be forgotten. Now - I don't want to give up so easily, although it's often hard to find the discipline and motivation to get past it. Before I would have moved on, happy to have reached 20,000 words, today, it nags at me, I have reached 20,000 words, but the goal is 80-100,000 and anything less than that isn't good enough. I guess in some ways this is about proving to myself as much as anyone else that I can write, and hoping at the end of it all - someone might concede it good enough to pay me for.
My total word count as of just now (24th Sept 2010, 02:04) is 24,600 - I'd like to break the 30,000 mark soon. I think that is my next stumbling point. Writing 20,000 words is hard, but I have done it before. Writing 30,000 words - on the one story - will be a first, and something that will give me the boost to make it to 40,000. I guess it's like walking, except instead of one foot in front of the other, it's one word in front of the other, and just keep in mind, there is an end in sight. ~ Kitty
And of course - it did, recently, as you may have gathered from the lack of updates to this blog. My preparation has left me with notebooks filled with detailed notes, however having not made a timeline (something I intend to do in future!) - I had missed a 4 hour dead space in the novel, since this is a story that the main part takes place over a short length of time, that's a fairly big problem - and I didn't know what happened there. Ironically, I know exactly what happens aftewards and for the next 10-12 hours, but not this bit.
I've spent the past month mulling it over, debating between missing it out and leaving it to do later, to trying to force it out now. I feel I am doing myself a disservice to leave it until later, I think it will plague me, mocking me as the bit I couldn't write. So, I am determined to write it rather than leave it. I have tried for a few weeks now to write it, it didn't feel right - I didn't feel right. Then I'd feel worse for not having done any writing. Writing can be quite a lonely and depressing business, especially when you want to strangle your own story, which I assume is transference to wanting to strangle yourself.
But - tonight I made progress. It is only 2000 words, and it hasn't even reached the part I can't write. But the character is feeling empowered, and good for her, because damn it, one of us has to know where this going, and maybe I can follow her lead. It's a hard feeling to describe, a week ago, I couldn't write this bit, now - I still don't really know what happens, but I have an idea, and I have the confidence to have a bash at it.
I suppose that it's the first of many stumbling blocks I am likely to face. I have put a lot of preparation into this, and I think by doing that I felt I would avoid this and have an easy write. Which isn't the case, I just have a bit more confidence in myself to get past the stumbling blocks. A few years ago, this sort of stumbling block would have signalled the end of the story, left in a file to be forgotten. Now - I don't want to give up so easily, although it's often hard to find the discipline and motivation to get past it. Before I would have moved on, happy to have reached 20,000 words, today, it nags at me, I have reached 20,000 words, but the goal is 80-100,000 and anything less than that isn't good enough. I guess in some ways this is about proving to myself as much as anyone else that I can write, and hoping at the end of it all - someone might concede it good enough to pay me for.
My total word count as of just now (24th Sept 2010, 02:04) is 24,600 - I'd like to break the 30,000 mark soon. I think that is my next stumbling point. Writing 20,000 words is hard, but I have done it before. Writing 30,000 words - on the one story - will be a first, and something that will give me the boost to make it to 40,000. I guess it's like walking, except instead of one foot in front of the other, it's one word in front of the other, and just keep in mind, there is an end in sight. ~ Kitty
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