Re-writing is a bitch!

It's been awhile since I last posted, having managed to efficiently write myself into a corner, or a hole. I'm still in the process of trying to recover from it and it was something that was both unexpected and unplanned for and really threw a spanner in the works of what I'm doing. 

The story I am writing follows quite a tight time line, while not everything is action-based, I want the plot to move along quickly (during this section of the book) to keep the reader interest and in part to show the tension in the plot. There's not a lot of time to waste. And I planned in advance for this, having a structured plot-line, so I knew exactly what should be happening at what times. However I done this using a skeleton plot and never actually wrote a time line. I had tried to stay clear in setting down firm times for things happening because I felt that might constrict my writing somewhat, what I didn't foresee was that my time line had dead time, and rather annoyingly - dead time which had to be filled. 

This dead time is a few hours long and comes immediately before some major plot twists. It's an empty space which needs something tense and exciting, because the character when facing the next part - is tense, on edge and tired. Some months back, when I first encountered this dead space I came up with a plan to fill it. It seemed a simple plan at first, a task/event where the main character would meet with another - show some personality, have some conflict and ultimately, some immediate resolution, then move on. A quick and action-packed little filler. Simples!

If only! When I first wrote my skeleton for this, it was complex. There was a lot of dialogue and a lot of action - and a lot of complex explaining needed so the reader would understand what the characters were doing. I gave it a shot, and it fell apart. It didn't feel right, I liked the overall scenario but I was trying to write was going to take a good 20,000 words and it felt awkward, and slow and didn't fit with the plot-pace I had already established. I tried stripping down what I had already written, effectively halving what the characters were doing but still it felt awkward and difficult to write, there wasn't a flow - and the dialogue didn't fit, the characters were too busy, and in the end, it just wasn't right. 

So after months of being stuck in a rut, I finally decided that I had to move on. It's been very frustrating. I know what happens after this dead time, I can rattle off what happens for the next full day. It's written in note form and I'm raring to write it, but I feel I must write this part first. It impacts on the next part - and again, that left me stuck. If I couldn't write this bit, then I couldn't write the next. Another month passed, apparently the requirement to write this part acted as a departure of my muse leaving me left with no story, growing frustration and a lack of confidence of being able to ever get out of this rut. 

Then to yesterday, and today. I took to my story with a vengeance, I re-wrote the start to the dead time, stripping it down and leaving it open to change. And I'm happy with that. Immediately everything seemed much better, the dialogue flowed better, the timing worked - and ironically, the lesser the word count, the happier I was. The pace picked up again. Now I have a gap to fill and after a month of fighting with myself on leaving it empty and moving on, or struggling forward to fill it - I've decided to leave it. I am still working on filling that gap, but it can no longer stop the progress on the rest of the novel. The fear of not knowing what happens is still there, but I know roughly what needs to happen, and I reason now I can move on and be able to fix any minor things after that dead time has been filled. 

It's been an eye-opening experience. I have planned so hard on this novel and invested so much into it that I never imagined being stuck in this way. But I feel better now, I felt before I had this scene weighing me down creatively, like it was a ball and chain I was hauling around after me. That it had the power to make or break everything I already had and all the work I'd done. It almost did. But for now, I'm moving past it. I'm excited to write the next part and feel that once I'm back in the 'grove', that stubborn dead space will be filled, and with time to think, it will be more exciting than what I was struggling to write before. ~Kitty

My story feels less speculative as each headline passes.

I've been fighting with my story again... but I randomly read the 'Have Your Say' part of the BBC website, today's is about benefit reform and one comment struck me hard, quoted as posted, mistakes included:

That's a non problem isn't it? Couldn't the government just create work for those if none is availble.

For example they could throw a load of books into the middle of a huge room and the job is to reorder them alphabetically. That's a days work for 10 people right away. Next day they throw the books back into the center of the room.

Pointless sure. But if people need the money they'll do it right?

It might not be a "job" as such but it is work and therefore will prevent people seeing benefits as a "I dont have to work" option while still providing a saftey net for those that need it. And those that need it will surely just be glad they are getting the money right?

And if people don't want to sort books 5 hours a day, 5 days a week they can always opt out but then they don't get the benefits.

Why wouldn't this work?

My current story is a near future reality on changes to a benefit system and putting people into a system to claim benefit, I use the term 'opt in' and 'opt out' and my system is  well, deadly.

The author of this comment asks why wouldn't this work? The problem isn't that it wouldn't work - but that it would work, and once that works, where does it stop? Once you know you have people over a barrel to make money simply to survive - you can make them do anything, or make the decision to not eat, the decision ultimately, to die. 

When I came up with my story, I thought my storyline was farfetched, who would ever believe that this was possible. Infact early on, this bothered me - I wanted it to be believable, something you could imagine doing yourself in the same situation, not liking it - but knowing at the same time, there is no choice.

Now, some ten months after starting my notes on this story - it's not farfetched. It is scarily believable. To the point where I genuinely get chills thinking about it. I have moments where I think - well, at least the current climate means my book might get a publisher quicker - then moments where I stop being selfish and think, holy shit, the country is going down the toilet.

I think it's a sad day when my speculative fiction story could easily be the next headline of reforms from the Cameron/Clegg camp. And even worse, that I can easily believe if they thought they'd get away with what my story entails, that they'd do it.

We never want to get to a stage where we know that people will do anything because, if people want to eat, they'll do it. Because then, the only outcome is what is suggested gets worse, and the money gets less, because if you want to eat, you'll do more.  ~ Kitty

Word Count: 29600

Getting there, slowly at the moment, but still... getting there! ~ Kitty

Ramblings on Character Development

I follow a number of writing blogs and one that I read today touched upon something which is consuming a lot of my thoughts at the moment in regards to the main character of my novel. The idea of depth, of a journey and making a character that touches the reader. I'm often overly critical of my own main characters, and with this character - I know I am extremely critical of 'her' - or more precisely, my writing of her. 

Because this is a first person novel, the story is laced with personal insights from the character. I often feel I get too pulled into her inner monologue at times and that sometimes it is repetitive. The current point I am writing is a crucial point of the character development, it helps define who she is - or more, who she wants to be and sets up the rest of - not just this first story - but the planned trilogy.

This character has certain self beliefs - she is a good person, she is/has been selfless, she would do anything to help others - she's not perfect, she's made her mistakes, she's suffered for them, but all in all, she has a strong self belief in the type of person she is. The early part of storyline shows her that this isn't necessarily true, she has the ability to be extremely selfish, she isn't brave - and shows her cowardice more than once, and her cowardice lets her down. With the back story of the character, it has always been her cowardice that has let her down, and she has a moment of epiphany. A desire - a need - to change, but then is immediately faced with the prospect that she might never get the chance to make that change. 

This change - and need to prove to herself who she is, to give her own life - and possible death - meaning is really the undercurrent of the storyline, her behaviour is guided by forcing herself not to become a person she hates, to face her fears and know that if she dies - she leaves true picture of who she was, and not the coward she never wanted to be. Of course, nothing is simple, she is too trusting, too eager, and does get 'burned' and sometimes being the coward or the 'bad' person is the only way to survive, she doesn't have a choice in who she gets to be. 

I think the scene I'm writing at the moment is so hard because it has became so important. I'm pleased to announce I'm past the first hurdle and have the majority of the entire scene in note format, I'm just hoping that the feeling is there for the reader. That the character isn't repetitive, or dull - but shows that she's struggling with her predicament and in many ways, her own identity. 

I'm eager to hear what my test reader(s) have to say about this scene and how it is building up, and with luck - that elusive 30k word count will be within reach soon. Who knew writing a novel could be such a hard process? ;-)   ~ Kitty

Writing in the midnight hours

Tonight I went to bed early. I turned off my laptop and promised myself I'd have an early night, as I have an early dental appointment. As it is 3am, and I'm online, it's quite clear that this planned failed. 

I don't know what it is about the early hours, but I seem to have not only some of my best ideas but my best motivation to write. I've spent the last few days talking about writing, but never actually managing to start this scene. I've now started it. Parts of this scene scare me as a writer, as I'm not entirely confident about some of the mechanics, but the more time it took to start the scene, the less confident I got. I'm happy to report that now that it is started, I am once again confident. 

This scene has been my hardest obstacle so far, yet in many ways it's one of the most enlightening parts I've done. I've learned more about the main character, I'm tying up loose ends on parts already past and I'm introducing a new character, who now has a name, 'Darcy' who is a character I like. While I haven't posted any of my actual manuscript on this blog to date, I'd like to introduce Darcy, as she's introduced in the story. If only because she's a character that came from nowhere and already has me liking her:

"She was looking at me with a hateful glint in her eyes, her hair was slicked back with blood and sweat, and bruising was beginning to blossom on her face. Her left eye was swollen, and a long stream of dried blood had left a trail down her cheek, joining another line of blood which came from her nose. I dropped my gaze, following a long deep slash that started at her throat and came across her chest, leaving her top hanging raggedly open while underneath the wound was held together with congealing blood."

I hope that this coming week will send me over the next 'hump', that wonderful 30,000 word point - a count I've never reached before, and a milestone for my personal writing career. ~ Kitty

Word Count: 26200

Word count as of 1st Oct, 03:08 - 26200, after an hour's writing to the new scene :-)

~ Kitty

Wanderlust in writing

I'm sure that wanderlust is a problem that strikes many writers, no matter how well you are writing one thing, no matter how much fun it is, how much you want to finish it - there are always things that creep their way into your head. Ideas for other stories, ideas for stories once started and abandoned and the desire is there to abandon the current project and rush to work on the new or old piece. 

This very problem is something that for years has successfully managed to thwart attempts to finish anything longer than a short story. I have tried hard to avoid it, but lacked the discipline to say no to myself and my urges. I'm now over 6 months into this project, it's the most professional and most disciplined piece of writing I have ever done and for the past months I've managed to avoid other stories, but now I can feel I'm wearing myself down. Rationalising that maybe a break would be good, just something fun to write, something different. Forgetting of course that the very reason I'm writing what I am today is that I wanted something fun and different from a piece I was writing last year. I am having a lot of fun with what I am writing now, but there's a need for change and I guess the boost of doing something new, where the creative drive is fresh and the words churn out, rather than the slow pecking away that can happen on a slow day. 

Making the problem bigger is that I have many, many unfinished projects, dating back 10-15 years. I have characters who I still muse about. I have even, to my shame, started new notebooks, under headings of other stories to make notes, though I have tried to limit myself doing this. It may seem absolutely insane to limit my own trespass into my own work, but I daren't get too involved, because some of these ideas I adore and in the future I plan to work on, but preferably as a published author, not when struggling through the first write of what I hope to be a debut novel. 

For those of interest, my wanderlust seeks to take me to two different urban fantasy worlds, one set with vampires, the other set with druids, to a cold cottage where a chick-lit novel is brewing, to a far away moon where a woman is throwing spanners at a spaceship that doesn't work, to a world so small we don't see, where fairies rule, to a medieval fantasy where a young girl seeks her birthright then back to the world I was creating last year, where misery is currency and the only way for long term survival is to fight the system, problem is, the only way for short term survival is to keep with the system. 

I hope one day that I'll be talking about writing these stories on this blog, able to explore the worlds as a paid author, weaving worlds as a job and a passion, with readers willing to take the ride with me. ~ Kitty